i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Randomize
