I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
