His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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