Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I want to fling myself into the sun
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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