My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
