I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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