I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
