so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
