we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Life without a bra equals bliss.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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