I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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