We named our party play list daddy issues
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
