1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Randomize
