i jhust puked up my retainher.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
