im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Randomize
