The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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