if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Randomize
