Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
