Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
