I got her a Nickelback box set.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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