I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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