just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
