im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
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