Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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