Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Randomize
