dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Randomize
