At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
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