Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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