smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
