just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Randomize
