It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Randomize
