i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
