Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
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