the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
