I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
