College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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