i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
