This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
