I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
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