I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Randomize
