yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Randomize
