I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
so much tequila, so little girl.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Randomize
