Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
