we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
please don't ironically join a cult
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