dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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