i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Randomize
