I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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