i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
