Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
