Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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