I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
nutella sex= disaster
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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