plz talk dirty to me
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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