Do you still have your period?
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
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